Ashleyhughes’s Weblog

I just don’t even know where to start.  This place is like nothing I have ever experienced before.  I’ve never had to make so many decisions, and I just get more confused the more I think about it!  One day I’m loving Taiwan and the next day I’m wanting to go home!  Mom said the honeymoon stage is over, and she’s right.  I wasn’t really homesick when I got here, but now that I’m trying to adjust, still, it is hitting me hard.  I was fine when I got here because everything was new and exciting but now I’m having a lot of challenges with work and everything else.  I did get to talk to my brother Jordan, who really helped me out with some ideas for work issues and I felt a lot better after I hung up.  I think that was the first time in a while that he actually gave me some “older brother advice” and I really appreciated that.  I called him when I realized that everyone else would be sleeping!  ha!  I don’t think that I have thought about how much Jordan has really been through and experienced, and he really has a lot of advice to offer to me.  I always thought of me as being the “wise one” haha, but he really has learned a lot and now I feel like he is someone that I can rely on.  Anyway, well I’ve just been thinking about a lot.  The reason why it is so confusing is that I can do pretty much anything that I want to do.  There are so many options for me if I am not happy at this school, or city, I can get another job here, or give a month’s notice and be gone.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not coming home in a month, and I don’t want to be a quitter.  I realize that every job has its problems, but for now I may just try to solve some of them on my own and take the initiative which will not be easy.  I won’t complain, because Lord knows, I have a growing list..but for now I’m just overwhelmed with different choices I could make like how long to stay at this job, or live in this tiny apartment, or stay in Taiwan in general.  I’m going to try my hardest to keep this year long contract…at times I do not feel optimistic, but I don’t want to be a quitter. 

So, anyway, those are just some thoughts that I’ve been having for a while. 

This past weekend was the moon festival and I actually got a 5 day weekend because I sprained my ankle and had to call in sick.  Don’t ask….ok, well I’ll tell you…I was trying to breakdance.  haha!  No more of that in Taiwan!!  I’ve already called in sick twice, and I never do that!  First I was sick for 2 weeks!!!  Then I sprain my ankle…and things never heal quickly here….they go away and then come back…My ankle still hurts and its been over a week. 

But I did rest for two days and then finally went out.  We had a church BBQ on Sunday that was a lot of fun.  Church is probably the only place I will find semi-normal people.  There is something about the foreigners in Taiwan.  I’m telling you they think they are invincible…which well, we sort of are.  We pretty much get away with everything because of the language barrier.  Technically, I break atleast a few laws everyday that could lead to deportation…but so does everyone else.  The law doesn’t matter here…they set them, and shove them under the table for a rainy day when they might feel like enforcing them.  I just hope that rainy day doesn’t come for me.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not stealing or something like that…but I can’t say that I haven’t seen that happen either!  I’ve seen just about everything…and let’s just say that back home…what I thought of as “sinful” doesn’t even compare over here.  My eyes widen in amazement everyday…there is not one boring day in Taiwan!  But I just want to ask people to pray for me…I just well…need it, for everything.  I could definitely start writing a book!  I need mental strength to deal with everything.  I have been pretty tough since I’ve been here, and I know that I can make it through with God’s help.  So many people over here believe in themselves as being their own god.  Yes, we are in control of a lot of things, but I believe that HE has the ultimate say…I don’t know what will happen tomorrow, but he does, so I will cling to Him.  I wouldn’t have made it this far without my personal relationship with Jesus Christ.  He has proven himself to be real to me, and I love Him with all of my heart.  I haven’t always done the right things, and I beat myself up over them when I mess up…but He remains faithful during the rough times…when I have turned my back he is still there, waiting with His arms ready to embrace.  If this sounds weird to you, I can not say excuse me, because I am just sharing with you how I feel about the greatest love I have ever known.  People tell the world about their significant other, so I must do the same with mine. 

Anyway, there’s my sermonette…haha.  I have to get to work now…I hope to write more over the weekend if I can get a connection.